The mostly humorous ramblings of my day to day existence.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Let’s Stick It To The Man!

I’m talking about the villains, the ones that are stealing from all of us. I stab them in the heart with my pen! Young children and old men with weak tickers are advised to read no further.
"That's all I can stands, cuz I can't stands n'more!" said Popeye the sailor before opening a can of spinach using his pipe as a blow torch, then munching down the contents in one gulp. Today I’m torching open a can, eating my spinach, and delivering a well deserved thrashing to lowlifes in need of serious wedgie time.
Top of the list are Lobbyists, these useless, lower than worm dirt leaches on society are the source of most things evil. Like molesters with candy, lurking around the playground, these tools of the corporate world pay visits around Washington. With pockets bulging with cash they search for someone to bribe. They ask for tax breaks with their money, they bribe, and you pay! Instead of your money going for new bridges, or Forest Rangers, it’s given away as corporate welfare to undeserving fat cats, and it’s all legal!
“Scummy Lobbyists, I stab thee with my pen!”
Next up, are the politicians that take the bribe money from the lobbyists. The money grabbing game wouldn’t even be happening if this bunch of crooks hadn’t made it legal in the first place. Egotistical to the core, these slime bags are co-conspirators in the money dance with lobbyists. Sure, there may be a few good ones out there, but most are self serving scum! It doesn’t matter what happens to you as long as they get their big buck payday from the lobbyists. The worst of the bunch become lobbyists themselves!
I think I’m going to hurl!
But Wait! Glug, Glug, Glug. Thank you pink stuff from the plastic bottle!
“In the heart! Slimy self serving bastards!”
Let’s not forget the Health care Insurance companies; there is a special level of hell waiting for the purveyors from these institutions of greed. They will steal from you every chance they get, and they couldn’t care less if you fall over dead.
Insure my house, yes!
Insure my car, yes!
But insure my body? What am I a Volvo?
The risk to some faceless shareholder should NOT be a consideration if I need to see a doctor! Today in the U.S. if you are not old enough to get Medicare, and aren’t covered by a job, then you are just screwed. This model blows; we should have a single payer system period! We can work out the details for a single payer system, but basically we all pay in, and we all benefit by getting the basic necessities that we need.
Am I talking about getting things like getting bigger boobs? Well no, bigger boobs are nice, but it usually won’t kill you to not to have them. But, it will kill you if you can’t see a doctor for some easily cured ailment!
“Your days are numbered Health Insurance Bandits!”
Mr. T will be giving all of the above a visit, and it’s WEDGIE TIME!
“I pity the fool who crosses Firkroy!” Mr. T will say, as he hangs you by your Fruit of the Looms on the nearest lamp post. Graffiti artists will have full creative license to pretty you up while you hang there, cockroach or evil clown would be my recommendation.
Last on my list of thieves is a water robber, the Low-Flow Toilet!
Who devised this ridiculous potty stool, a plunger company!?
The concept is fine; to save water you use less of it when you flush. BUT, YOU DON”T SAVE WATER IF IT TAKES THREE FLUSHES!
How does Mr. T give a toilet a wedge? I just don’t know.
“Damn you! Low-Flow Toilet son of bitches!”

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