The mostly humorous ramblings of my day to day existence.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

I Was Seduced by the Dark Side.

As if I were Luke Skywalker giving in to the dark side, I gave in to AARP.
When was it that I finally succumbed to the thought that I was over the hill? Was it 3 years ago when the doctor put me on high blood pressure pills and said I should lose some weight? No, I just need to do more exercise.
Was it 2 years ago when I had a full knee replacement with metal and plastic parts installed where my knee used to be? No, I injured that in the military so it was just catching up to me I told myself.
Was it the fact that it was getting harder to get up from the couch? No, couches are simply made lower to the ground these days I concluded.
After much denial, it was the need for a dental plan that finally pushed me over the edge. I came to the realization that yes Daniel you’re not 25 anymore and reluctantly joined the American Association of Retired Persons at 51¾ years old and put an AARP card in my wallet.
I regularly talk to my sister and my brother-in-law on Skype; we make video calls so we can see as well as hear the conversation, it’s just like being in the same room with them. My brother-in-law and I are about the same age, and we were talking about insurance when I brought up the fact that I had joined AARP to get their dental plan. I could see him squirming in his chair; if I could have been a fly on the wall of his brain I would have heard this conversation “AARP? Huh wait, we are both the same age, what, I’m not that old, what does he think he’s doing AARP is for old people. But dang they have a good dental plan?” I don’t think he’s quite ready to cross over to the dark side. Everyone has to fight their own internal battles with aging and it’s usually not easy.
There were early warning signs of aging that I blew off, like when I was 35 and my father called me middle aged. “That’s just crazy talk dad, I’m not middle aged!” I told him, “Me middle aged you’re getting senile dad” I thought to myself, I didn’t say it out loud. I was getting ready to marry my 30 year old hot chick girl friend, I’ll be young forever!
I had held onto my youth for as long as I could, I had my first kid when I was 40 and hung out with the 20 and 30 something new kid crowd. Yeah I had less hair than most of them but being bald was the in style, so I thought I could just blend in.
In my 40s something funny happened, I started getting bosses at work that were younger than me. I had been a department manager for an electronic manufacturing company when I was in my early 30s and had people older than me as my staff and didn’t think much of it at the time. But now, the tables had been turned, and one notorious boss was a real punk. He had an MBA and was a smart guy, but he was a clueless manager of people. He rose up the ladder quickly, stomping on anyone who got in his way. Who would have thought you could get so rewarded for being such a bung hole. He’s going to be miserable when he gets older I tell myself, I can only hope.
So now I eat oatmeal in the morning with blueberries and walnuts, all super foods as my doctor had told me. I’m going to get as much bicycle riding in as I can this summer, and see if I can shed some more fat. My goal is to weigh the same as I did when I was 20, recapturing that part of my youth is at least an obtainable goal. I take lots of vitamins, and am feeling pretty good. We are planning a family trip this summer and I’m really looking forward to getting on the road. And you can bet that I’m going to milk that AARP card for every discount I can get!

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