The mostly humorous ramblings of my day to day existence.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

It’s Been Quite a Week, and What’s That Funny Glow?

Last week was long one, with bugs, painting, and Daryl, but get that Pepto Bismol ready, the county fair is just around the corner, Oh Boy Oh Joy!
The light post outside of our house is mostly out, only coming back on when it feels like it. I discovered an interesting thing with the street being dark, something funny is going on over at my neighbor Daryl’s house. Three more glowing orbs, for a total of four! OK, OK, I’ve figured it out, it’s so simple, why didn’t I realize this before… Daryl is trying to contact the mother ship, he’s phoning home! Soon there will be tones on loud speakers synchronized to the orbs then,
“Buzzzzzz ZAP!” Daryl’s out of here!
I can’t wait to see the mother ship, will it look like a saucer, or will it look like a shuttle craft from the starship Enterprise with a green guy at the helm? I’m just giddy; it’s going to be so exciting!
Well in more mundane, down to earth news. It’s house painting time folks, I finished up painting around my window replacement, and now it’s on to the back of the house. My house was built around 1960 and had some modifications done to it. One decorative extra feature that was added by the three stooges was plywood nailed up between the overhang and the outside wall of the house. It really isn’t too decorative, but it WAS a fantastic wasp apartment complex. I’ve had to bug bomb in between the gap they kept crawling into on several occasions, but this time all of that crap was coming down.
As I pried down the pieces of plywood I could see those creepy nests waiting to unleash a hell storm of flying stinging devil bugs! I cautiously proceeded prying down on the plywood, and amazingly (Whew) nothing attacked me. I could identify two different types of wasps judging by the nests that were hitting me in the face. Paper Wasps, and Mud Daubers that are the creepiest. The Mud Daubers had built little mud condos against the side of the wall, and the other nests were a sort of honey comb type made by the Paper Wasps.
I let them all have it with the hose, and mud dripped down the side of the wall. There were three very confused wasps flying around looking for the entrance to their mud Jacuzzi, but it was in a little brown puddle on the ground. I gave them directions to Daryl’s house, and I told them he would be leaving soon so they would have the whole place to themselves.
In other news, I’ve been doing a test of the EverBlade for Tony Berkman, the Big Kahuna of Blog Catalog and BrooWaha. I must say that this shaving gizmo is doing a fine job of keeping my razor sharp. The non-EverBladed razor that I’m using as a control is getting dull, and tugging at my whiskers. Now, I want you to know that I’m a Norelco man (mainly because I’m lazy) and not just saying the EverBlade thing-a-majig works to be a suck up, and to get more free stuff. When I’m finished testing I’ll be going back to my electric razor, but it’s been a lot of fun playing with shaving cream.
Tonight I’m watching the last part of “The Stand” on Netflix, they made a four miniseries sometime in the 90s of the novel by Stephen King. It’s our in-home date night when the kids go to bed, and I get to relax with my honey and watch the show. There’s nothing like a romantic evening at home watching bodies lying around everywhere after dying from a military engineered killer flu, and eating popcorn. I never read the book, so I can’t wait to see how it ends, Stephen King is a genius.
Speaking of entertainment in a couple of weeks I’m taking the munchkins to the Lane County Fair! It’s an exciting time of barf rides, cigarette smoke, inappropriate clothing, and best of all teeth are optional! You can get yummy taste treat sensations like elephant ears, hot dogs, and deep fried butter! Oh wait, the deep fried butter is at the Texas State Fair; sorry if you go to the Lane County Fair you’ll have to settle for some other deep fried oddity.
The fair usually has a band playing, and one year on my birthday, we got to listen to Weird Al Yankovic. Al was running around in a fat suit singing a parody of Michael Jackson’s song “Bad”. I felt sorry for AL in that fat suit dancing around on stage in the middle of August, but maybe that’s how he stays so thin. Weird Al appears to have a nice close shave, and I wonder, does Weird Al use an EverBlade?
Oh blast, it’s time to get back to painting the side of the house, the wasps are all gone, and things are shaping up. I had a bee fly into my paint bucket this morning and commit insecticide, I wish insect HMOs would pay for Prozac, and then maybe, just maybe, all of this insecticide madness would end.
Slurp…. “Oh this is some good coffee.”

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